Trompe le Monde: A Round the World Tour Diary

An online travel diary so people can keep up to date with what I'm doing and where I'm going.

Location: Home, United Kingdom

You all know who I am, I assume.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

United States of Insanica

I'm now in San Francisco, but having arrived yesterday on an overnight bus I spent most of the day asleep. So I shall leave my thoughts about Frisco for another post (if I remember) and instead concentrate on LA some more.

In particular, I shall be concentrating on Los Angeles' large population of utter mentalists. I've never been anywhere so crazy as Hollywood before. For example, Kings Cross in London has more than its fair share of lunatics, I think you'll agree. But they tend to be of either the shouting at themselves so you know to avoid them, or probably harmless (right up to the moment you lean too close and they stab you in the eye with a syringe) tramps muttering to themselves. In Hollywood, however, the number and variety of madmen and women is truly astounding.

There was the bloke waiting for a bus who mumbled to himself and then with a yell of defiance leapt and stamped on a paving slab, a routine he continued every 45 seconds. There was the man who looked perfectly normal, until when you walked past him you realised he was singing one extremely high-pitched note to himself. There was the man standing just down a side road off La Brea (a large road) smoking a fag with his left hand and jigging about, while his right hand pulled up the right leg of his shorts so that he could pee in the gutter, a long arc of piss splashing on the road while he pranced around. There was the old woman on the bus who snapped "Don't sit next to me" in a tone reminiscent of The Exorcist at my mate's polite request to occupy the vacant seat adjacent to her. There was the man crossing an intersection in his car, who appeared normal until you noticed he was eating his dinner off a plate with a knife and fork while driving. All these, and lots more. My theory is that, seeing as Hollywood is a silver screen paradise anyway, the government figured that no one would notice a few genuine madmen amongst the quirky and eccentric actors, those crazy from years of drug abuse, and the weirdo super-fans and stalkers. Thusly I think they simply poured several asylums in to the area, and won't let the crazies out. Everyone else can continue to come and go as they please. Rather than being "care in the community", it's "the community".

Anyway, that's all for now. It remains for me only to point out that Mental Health is in fact a very serious issue, and rather than laughing or being scared of men wizzing in the street or eating dinner whilst driving I should be trying to help them.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello i logged on to the website to see if there was any ome else with the same name out there the same as mine. i have been trying to do a family tree and i know that my grandad Irvin Tazzyman's brothers and sisters moved to America around 40 years ago from Stocksbridge in Yorkshire I would be interested to knw if you are part of the family tree as our surname isnt very common

May 12, 2005 at 12:45 AM  

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